Monday, March 29, 2010

Asking the end consumer for pronunciation help

This is a videoreply to this mail (send a question of your own and get a videoreply of your own!):

Hi Emi!
Do you get many (any) questions regarding pronunciation of Swedish? I have one for you. I've seen this name a lot recently: Malin. Is it pronounced like MAY- lin or something like Mah LIN? Also, Tiger Woods' wife Elin... around here they pronounce it EE-lin. Is that right? I would have thought Eh lin or something. Of the languages I know, English is the only one that has a long a sound or a long e sound using only those letters. In other languages you would need a "ej" or "ei" to make a long "a" sound. Does that make sense?? Just a question from a language nerd over here... Hope you are well!

Kirsten

Thursday, March 25, 2010

If you wonder why all Swedes don't look great


It's because some of us are STYLED BY SHOES. I know I'm not the only one who doesn't want to get style advice from footwear.

Dear Scots



I love your pineapple house.

Dear world


Take a look at this pic, it has two of my favorite women in it! Up close, Marion and to the very left LFTEC friend Natasha! Natasha is a brilliant Brit living in Paris, often invited to red carpet events and Vivienne Westwood shows. How glamorous is her life? Very.

At this very event, sex tourist Mitterrand accidentally pierced not only Marion's fantastic Dior blouse but also her flesh, causing her to shriek. So now we finally have the answer to an important question and it is: No, Marion does not wear padded bras.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Dear Samsung


Dear Samsung, you have any stats on how often people use this feature?

Dear SAS


Dear SAS, for years I have tried to save points for a bonus trip to New York. Last months, I had finally flown and shopped my way to a "free" ticket. I went online to book my trip. There are no seats available in all of March no matching roundtrips in April and only outbound tickets in May.



No seats? It doesn't really feel or seem like your promised "world of opportunities". It also bugs me that all the extremely content customers you showcase on your site are white adult males. I get your point in every way. You don't really care about the rest of us.

disappointed greetings
-the end consumer

ps. I was wrong! Besides the 5 (or more, they looked so alike) white adult males, there was one white female adult!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Kära museiälskare

Nu finns jag ett tag som museumbloggare på DN.

Counteracting famous movie quotes

Somebody put baby in a corner!

Dear Muji


Dear Muji, you're a very sophisticated brand with items very reasonable priced. You're a top choice when it comes to shopping for the no logo generation. But when Lotta bought her new laptop bag from you, she was in for a big disappointment. The shoulder strap could only be fastened on one side. Simplicity is fine, but Muji you're stretching it.

Fix this, you're looking silly.

ps. Now we understand this may have been a flawed item, not a design problem. Still, a problem if you shop them off to retailers like that.

Dear Lotta Lundgren


I know you, because in our 20s you sent me a question asking about snus and I replied. If it wasn't for your tobacco dependency, we would never have become friends. And people say nicotine is bad for you!

Now you've left the advertising world to spread your love of food. I contribute in what little way I can, buying you Stockholm's best cardamom buns as often as possible. You've given me so much, mostly love and laughter. I reciprocate by turning into a feeder. No we share an office.

Friendship - it's a beautiful and complex thing.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Dear contemporary times


Things I've asked our common era recently: How could Pauline NOT win the Swedish Eurovision Song Contest when she was so great?(picture above illustrating the mood induced by listening to Pauline) And if she did not win, why not MANBOY?

How could it take so long to give a woman an Academy award for best direction? And while we're talking about Bigelow, what's her secret? Sorry for being so shallow, but with secret I mean skin and face and body and overall age-fighting clues. Her key to success I take is no secret but as often the result of talent, hard work and great connections. I'm sure the reaction to the academy was just this.

1. What took you so long?
2. What's the name of her docs?

Also read in the paper of fish whose reproductive systems are fucked because of the high hormone levels in the water caused by human use of birth control pills. I'm siding with the fish here, it seems so unfair that they can't have babies either because we don't want to.

Dear Charlotte Bornstein, I love you!

Dear peope who have hymens or know people who do.

I'm doing hymen research for work.
Stumbled across the term Womb Fury. Wonder if I've ever had that.

Dear stress


Lately I've noticed you've been trying to take me into your arms, firmly pressing all life out of me. Well take this stress, I'm not gonna let you.

Though I've had a weird sensation of my brain melting, I'm counter acting your grip by taking the following measures:

  • Switching to decaf.
  • Removing Twitter. For now.
  • Unsubscribing from mail lists.
  • Sleeping.
  • Cooking.
  • Going running later today.
  • Cancelling jobs that are fun but pay little yet demand lots of time.
What you say stress? Feel your grip losening a little?
never yours
-e

Friday, March 12, 2010

Share this laugh


Tack som vanligt till maria lindholm, alltid en källa till glädje.

When I feel lonely


I turn to my web statistics. And there you are! What brought you here today?

Dear author who knows how to pick a title


Had to have it. Am placing it next to this.
Also moved by the thought that there are so many of us who're into this kind of stuff that it's profitable to publish books for us. Paying for poor advice? CERTAINLY!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Dear Orla Kiely


I thought you were a brand for grown women, but now I see you want to project an image of yourself as pioneers for teens who go for the under 10 look.

disappointed greetings
-a former customer

Dear Dolph Lundgren


I saw you this morning on a Segway, on my way to work. Unfortunately, I was too slow to snap a pic. All I got was a pic of this bike. Did you throw it up there? Who else is that strong?

Love and devotion
-e

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Dear Tana French, potential would-be-runners

Dear Tana and potential runners, I've found a new way to increase my running frequency. I listen to Tana's literature (In the woods as an audiobook) while I run. It's so spellbinding I want to go running more often! Try it.

dear boccaccio

such fine and funny lines:

I confess to being a man of weight and to have been often weighed in my time; therefore, speaking to those ladies who have not weighed me, I declare that I am not heavy. No, I am so light that I float like frothy wood in water.

that's how I'll refer to physical love in the future: weighing each other. lamenting to others "man, haven't been weighed in ages!"

Monday, March 1, 2010